The Awe of the Blank Canvas

+Juliet's  post on attending the Sacred Gifts exhibit got me thinking about a moment of awe from my past that I will probably always remember. (as I guess happens with most moments of awe)

I have been a lover of Van Gogh for a long time
My mom says since 4th grade
but i suppose that is debatable because that seems rather young

The point is:
I have had a love for Van Gogh for ages.
and always admired his famous Starry Night



(I mean who doesn't and now that I am more versed in art
I see that it is kind of cliche to like it but the point remains)

So, back in the summer after I graduated,
I was lucky enough to go on a trip to DC
which included a trip to New York
which also included a very important stop in at some art museums

One of these art museums was the MOMA
which houses Van Gogh's Starry Night.
Now we had stopped at other museums which help Van Gogh's
and that was cool and all.
But it wasn't the painting. My favorite painting.

I don't remember a lot more about attending that museum
except that I saw the painting.

I actually had to go back and visit the painting twice.
The first time I saw it, took a picture or two, and then was whisked away to the next with my friends
Finally my friend asked if I wanted to go back and see the painting again.
OF COURSE.

My second trip back is where I felt like I was able to come to my point of awe.
The first time I was hyped about seeing it.
But it hadn't set in until we went back

This is where I really connected with these pieces from Burke's "Of the Passion Caused by the Sublime" 

"astonishment is that state of the soul, in which all its motions are suspended......In this case the mind is so entirely filled with its object, that it cannot entertain any other"

When I read that, it hit spot on with my experience
I was so amazed that I was finally seeing the painting I had loved and dreamed about for most of my life.

I probably could literally just have stayed there for hours

I looked back through my photos from that trip
and had more than 30 shots of the piece.
Different angles, zooms, lighting.

I was feeling exactly what Burke describes

(okay, I admit that I did drop his mention of horror, but perhaps that played in too as below)

I had to be drug away because I could have stayed there for the rest of the trip.
and there came a point when the guard had to ask me to step back because
1. I was WAY too close.
2. No one else could really see the painting.

I tried to think if it was finally seeing the painting that put me at awe
or if it was the unexpected:
There was blank canvas.
You would never know that by a print
But in real life, it revealed its self.

Both seeing the painting and the unexpected black canvas both probably caused my awe

and perhaps there was actually horror in there too
horror I would have to leave the painting
horror that there was blank canvas

thinking back on this, a cool thing happened there too after it all

as we left, my friend said to me:
that was cool to watch: you having that experience.
sharing that special moment of  you seeing something
so amazing and meaningful to you

not only was I experiencing the awe,
he was experiencing me experience awe

This made me question a few things:
perhaps when we experience awe, there may always be multifacets of it
especially including that of fear that we may just not realize at first?

Also, can awe be transferable? Can someone's awe rub off on someone else?