January 14, 1992
Dear Friend,
----I feel like a big faker, because I've been putting my life back together, and nobody knows. It's hard to sit in my bedroom and read like I always did. So much has changed since the last time we talked. So much has changed since a moment ago.
----When I was twenty two, I read a book for fun. Except that I don't really read books for fun at all: it's always so I can remember that there are people out there who think my thoughts. And I know having real friends is a lot better than having fictional ones, but the fictional ones seem a lot more real sometimes, and books don't get married or move away or commit suicide. When I met Charlie, he was the realest person that I had ever come across--not because everyone else was uninteresting but because when you're depressed or confused or trying to figure out who you are, that is the only real thing to you, and everything else just kind of subsides into a gray blah. I think it's a defense mechanism.
Dear Friend,
----I feel like a big faker, because I've been putting my life back together, and nobody knows. It's hard to sit in my bedroom and read like I always did. So much has changed since the last time we talked. So much has changed since a moment ago.----When I was twenty two, I read a book for fun. Except that I don't really read books for fun at all: it's always so I can remember that there are people out there who think my thoughts. And I know having real friends is a lot better than having fictional ones, but the fictional ones seem a lot more real sometimes, and books don't get married or move away or commit suicide. When I met Charlie, he was the realest person that I had ever come across--not because everyone else was uninteresting but because when you're depressed or confused or trying to figure out who you are, that is the only real thing to you, and everything else just kind of subsides into a gray blah. I think it's a defense mechanism.
