The True Monster

One of the best feelings I can, experience, and have experienced, is feeling empowered after talking to someone who inspires me, watching a movie, or reading a book.  It recharges my soul and opens my eyes to the endless possibilities I can achieve while I am here on earth.  It is hard to put into words exactly how I feel, but it is a feeling that I can immediately recognize when it once again creeps into my life.

I remember coming home from my mission and not knowing what to do next; should I continue studying English or was there something else in store?  These feelings filled my mind and I did not have the slightest idea where to go next.  I decided to stay in the major and hope for the best, but quickly I felt the intensity of my decision and felt inferior compared to my classmates.  I felt this for quite a while that semester.  Half way through the semester we began reading “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley, and in an instant everything began to change.  Where I had once felt confusion and inferiority had now been replaced by enlightenment and a desire to read more.   I felt life enter into my soul once again.  I identified with both monsters in the story, and I was amazed by how language and nature changed, momentarily, the souls of Frankenstein and his creation.  One point in particular struck me, as the monster lives in complete despair and solitude he discovers language which then leads him to discover books,

I can hardly describe to you the effect of these books. As I read this story, I also felt an indescribable sensation that produced awe and a desire to learn more. They produced in me an infinity of new images and feelings that sometimes raised me to ecstasy, but more frequently sunk me into the lowest dejection…But Paradise Lost excited different and far deeper emotions.  Emotions that I had also not felt since before my mission began to come back to me.  I felt like I understood life again. I read it, as I had read the other volumes which had fallen into my hands, as a true history. It moved every feeling of wonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent God warring with his creatures was capable of exciting. I often referred the several situations, as their similarity struck me, to my own.

The monster uses language and authorities, citing Paradise Lost,  causing both a connection and trust between he and the reader.  He recognizes the power of this great work and through the power of ethos, readers find common ground and connect even though he is not human. 

It is here in this sentence that we find hyperbole as he exaggerates in order to give greater emphasis to the power contained in books.  The words infinity and ecstasy create feelings of endless images that cause a sense of intense emotions.

They produced in me an infinity of new images and feelings that sometimes raised me to ecstasy, but more frequently sunk me into the lowest dejection

It is in these moments that I felt a connection to the monster and saw him as a human.  The monster's description of literature creates amplification, empathy and acceptance, which personally caused me to question who the real monster was.  I had let myself wander far too long not feeling and wishing to be back on my mission.  The monster also wandered, hoping for a ray of hope and companionship.  I had all of those things, yet I did not allow myself to see it.  I like, his creator, tried to ignore what reality had to bring.  I honestly felt this book speak to my soul and reignite a flame that had been missing the moment I landed back home in California.

But what interested me was Victor Frankenstein's moments of reality and humanity.  He too had escaped reality but it was in nature, during meditation that he slowly began to feel

                 I spent the following day roaming through the valley. I stood beside the sources of the Arveiron, which take their rise in a glacier,                  that with slow pace is advancing down from the summit of the hills, to barricade the valley. The abrupt sides of vast mountains                      were before me; the icy wall of the glacier overhung me; a few shattered pines were scattered around...These sublime and                          magnificent scenes afforded me the greatest consolation that I was capable of receiving. They elevated me from all littleness                  of feeling; and although they did not remove my grief, they subdued and tranquillised it. In some degree, also, they diverted my                  mind from the thoughts over which it had brooded for the last month.

 In this passage we see the use of litotes as he downplays and understates through exaggeration his feelings.  Althought extreme, I too in a sense felt this.  Although a brilliant creator he humanizes himself and shows us his imperfections.  

The intensity of these scenes in nature compared with our own selves creates the sense of awe and wonder.  The use of nature romanticizes this experience and creates a connection with the divine creator.  I took moments as I reflected on his experiences in nature to wonder about creation and my personal relationship with him.

This story changed my outlook and inspired me to go outside myself.  I found that the trees were greener than they had previously appeared and the sun shined brighter than it had before.  I believe much like the moster and his creator that our connection with the divine can create a new life within us.  No matter how different we may feel we can find hope through literature and experiencing the wonders of all God's creations.  It was in this moment that I felt a sincere desire to continue on this path of englightenment and share my experience with others.